We all know how important listening is for better relationships, more and better quality business transactions and an
overall happier life. When it comes to talking, less is usually more if it means we are doing more listening. Of course
if it means we are doing more multi-tasking or our thoughts are wandering who know where, maybe not.
Get Past the Agenda
One reason we don’t really listen is because we have some kind of agenda other than really hearing the other person. We want to sell something, we want to convince them we are right about something, we know exactly how to save the world if only we could convince enough people to join us, and etc.
If you are operating from an agenda, you will have difficulty developing the relationships necessary to have a successful network marketing career, because you won’t hear what your prospect is really saying to you. On the other hand, listening is where it’s at if you want to enjoy your business and find the people who will some day be the
customers or associates that stay with you long term.
- So next time you are talking to someone, pay attention to where your mind is. Are you with them or are you with your agenda, whatever that is?
- Notice what your mind is doing and where it is going that is keeping you from really hearing what the other person is saying, then reel it in. After all the bottom line in communication is not just listening, it is actually hearing the other person’s message, which may include much more than the words. You will need to tune in, listen to body language and expressions (if you are talking in person) to be in the moment.
The Secret to Genuine Listening
The key to genuine listening is to be present with the other person. In other words, we aren’t trying to recruit them, sell products or prove how smart we are. We have no interest in being right or correcting their faulty thinking, we’re just hearing them and responding to their questions, concerns, challenges or whatever.
Michael Dlouhy, founder of Mentoring for Free says, when we listen without an agenda, the people we are talking to “lean forward and ask for more information.” In other words, drop the agenda and listen if you want to create relationships characterized by trust. It is in these relationships that people sense we genuinely care about them and want to help them.
If and when that individual is looking for a business opportunity, they may even choose to join us. Or if they voice a health concern or a need for some other product or service we may have to offer, they may choose to become our
customer because they just know we are someone they like and trust….and the reason they know that is because we demonstrate that by actually listening to them. (Probably not an experience they have often)
On the other hand, when we don’t listen, that means we operate from a desire to control, from a need to be right or superior, or in some way look good to others (and even worse look good at their expense). Agendas tell us our way or our product or our company are better and that our job is to convince others about how right we are. Agendas are about selling, something 96% of the population doesn’t appreciate….so why do it?
When we listen with an agenda it frequently presents as negative mind chatter. You may have thoughts like, “I wonder if they’ll be interested in being a distributor? I wonder if they can afford my products? I wonder if I can sell them something today? I hope they buy, I really need the money.” Or maybe you have a little voice that says, “I’m bored, this person is too stupid to get this, I’m never going to succeed, I hate sales, I’ll never do network marketing again, I’ll never make it, I might as well quit, I wish I’d never……”
No More Fear of Rejection
So a big part of letting go of the agenda is to remove the negativity that distracts you from the conversation at hand. One of the simplest, quickest and most effective ways to do that is to switch to a positive focus with a consistent program of positive self talk.
This means create positive affirmations and say them continuously throughout the day from the minute you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. While any number of repetitions will help, your life will take a noticeable
shift when you repeat them at least 1000 times per day. 1500 is better. Say them in the shower, while you’re driving (turn off the radio), walking the dog, standing in line at the grocery store or taking a break from your job. Never stop…and eventually your mind will say them for you automatically. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night and your mind will be repeating affirmations. The negative chatter won’t have a chance.
When you aren’t distracted by negativity your listening ability goes way up and you’ll sense when that happens because real communication is a very different kind of experience. You move out of the negativity of the past or future into the power of the present.. and the other good news is, you move out of fear, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of failure. And how would it change your life if you never had to fear rejection again?
Share below about experience you have had when you really listened and heard the other person. How did that impact your business or your life?
P.S. For more ideas about how to move your business forward by living in the now, download my free ebook, Success in 10 Steps.